Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers. If Father’s Day is on a different date in your part of the world, we still wish you a happy Father’s Day whenever it may be 🙂
Here’s Brianna’s dance for Father’s Day at her jardin “Mi Segunda Casita” in Cuzco. I used to think Latinos were born knowing how to dance, now that I have a little goose growing up here in Cuzco I realize that Latinos are born knowing how to dance and they get better after that by practicing all the time.
Alternate title 1: Invest in Cuzco real estate.
Alternate title 2: Please tell the friggin’ bankers in your part of the world to raise interest rates already!
They knocked down the palais. I didn’t cry, just took a picture:
A new office building is going up where the palais used to stand 😦
This building used to be restaurant / dance hall that catered to events like birthdays and quince años parties. We had Brianna’s first birthday party there. The place was always busy, at least 3 or 4 parties per week, we reserved something like a month in advance for Brianna’s party.
Real estate in Peru has been going gangbusters for years now and the building was on the corner of the Plaza Tupac Amaru, a prime location in Cuzco. I imagine the land where the building sat is worth between $500 to $1,000 per square meter. The building just recently got knocked down and a new office tower is going up where the local palais used to stand. Hundreds of Quinceañeras will cry 😦
Real estate in many areas of Peru is very expensive. Here in Cuzco a nice 100 square meter (~1,000 sq. feet) apartment costs around $100,000 nowadays. I know a man who bought an apartment in Lima some years ago and after owning it for only a few years he sold his apartment at a profit that allowed him to pay off the mortgage and buy a nearly-new Cessna 182 with the money left over.
Cuzco isn’t Shanghai but everywhere you look new apartment or office buildings are going up. It’s hard to say if we’re in a bubble yet (and how close we are to the end of it). As much as real estate prices have gone up in Peru you would think it is a bubble, but the demographics disagree. Mortgage interest rates are high (9-11% last I checked) and banks require 10-20% downpayments for a mortgage in Peru. My guess is that the price appreciation will likely slow down in the future but I don’t see a big deflation like in real estate in the US. The prices here have been rising mostly due to high demand (demographics), limited availability of land (geography) and high interest rates.
This dumbass kept interest rates in the US so low for so long that investing in the industrialized countries made no sense any more. Hence there have been large capital inflows in so-called developing economies like Peru where returns on investment were higher (think large sovereign wealth funds and the like looking for fixed income investments or countries like China looking for hard assets like minerals). To prevent “overheating” of the economies the central banks in countries like Peru raise interest rates, which might help slow the domestic growth but only exacerbates the inflows of foreign capital.
Bottom line tell the friggin’ bankers to stop worrying about Greece (look at Argentina now) and raise interest rates instead. Of course the bankers are afraid to slow down so-called economic growth at home or hurt real estate values in the US/Europe in the near term but all that will sort itself out. The bigger problem is that by keeping interest rates effectively at zero the big bankers are destroying the entire concept of future value (meaning, a dollar today is supposed to be worth more than a dollar tomorrow, but now it isn’t, it’s the same). No one has a real clue where all this is going but by keeping interest rates so low the bankers may be causing the one problem that they are desperate to avoid: deflation. I’m not saying you can’t have a society where interest rates don’t exist (look at banks in the Muslim world) only that our society and our financial system is based on the idea of future value and you work with what you have.
Rant over. Here are the Kinks:
Brianna’s first birthday party was at the palais on Plaza Tupac Amaru, which is now no longer there
Come dancing…
Mother’s day dance at Brianna’s kindergarden
My first parade at the Plaza de Armas
One of the things I like about living in Cuzco is that life is so full of social events, friends, family, there is always something other than work and money. Last week Brianna had her first Mother’s Day dance in her kindergarden, papi was so proud I almost cried! We also got together with Patricia’s family on Mother’s Day and just yesterday Brianna had a parade down Cuzco’s Plaza de Armas (main square) as part of the “day of private education”, or something. As the only gringo dad in Brianna’s kindergarden I got volunteered to walk in the parade 😉
In between all this we also went to the baptism of a friend’s son. Little Ares Joaquin is about a year-and-a-half old and already a good little playmate for Brianna. After the baptism we went to Ares’ house, ate, drank and socialized with the family. After the dinner Ares’ dad was serving beer and asked me if I wanted a drink.
Before I could reply one of Ares’ uncles answered for me:
“You should ask only in the hospital” This was directed at Ares’ dad who was serving. The implication is that if a person is in the hospital you should ask if it’s OK to serve them alcohol, make sure the doctor says it’s OK. But if you’re not in the hospital, there should be no reason to ask, you just serve!
I like that. Ask only in the hospital 🙂
According to my beautiful Peruvian wife, 15 minutes. La hora Peruana is alive and well!
Just thought I’d share that 🙂
It has always been said the problem with gringos doing business in Latin America is that gringos don’t understand the culture. Businessmen from large multi-nationals just wanted to come down to “close the deal and get the heck out of this place”. I don’t know if that’s still true since the larger metropolitan cities in Latin America are very cosmopolitan nowadays (business people and Secret Service agents alike may actually look forward to visiting Latin America nowadays). However, getting things done in Latin America remains very different from in the industrialized countries. The big difference is that you have to be genuinely interested in the people you do business with, the places you operate in, the culture, the history, etc. You cannot come down to Latin America in a strictly business mindset, close the deal and get out of there.
I’m good at doing business here in Peru. I take an interest in people, culture, history. I chat up people for no reason other than to be social. You have to be social here in Latin America. The same holds true for dealing with the bureaucracy in Peru. You can’t just walk into a government office and expect straightforward explanation of what to do, how long it will take, etc. You have to shake hands with the security guard, tell him the nature of your tramite (the paperwork you’re doing), go to 3 different desks, make nice talk at each desk, profusely thank the bureaucrats as if they are really being helpful, etc.
The trouble is, even though I’m quite good at getting things done in Peru, I still can’t navigate the bureaucracy. No matter how nice or social you are with the bureaucrats, they stick to their rules and forms and you simply never get the final “OK, you’re done” until they are happy.
It’s never good to loose your cool with a Latin American bureaucrat but some situations push the limits of your patience:
Some of these issues may seem petty but if you’re trying to get a job, buy a house, get married or something like that and you can’t get past the bureaucracy it can be very frustrating. I was recently at the US embassy in Lima where another person wanted to have some documents notarized to get a job at a university in Lima. The embassy told this person they couldn’t notarize her forms because the embassy had to comply with the Hague Convention. As I understand it, the Hague Convention simply means you get a certified form only from the originator of the form and then it is supposed to be respected worldwide. But what do you do if the person at the other end of the transaction doesn’t know there exists a Hague Convention and insists you “get it notarized at the embassy”. While I was listening to this conversation at the US embassy it was quite obvious this is almost a daily issue for them, people coming to get papers legalized that the embassy can’t or shouldn’t legalize.
Long story short no matter how you try to make sense with a Peruvian bureaucrat they always win.
Until now!
A few weeks ago I won my first argument with a Peruvian bureaucrat. I have to go twice a year to the Peruvian immigration office to renew my visa. It’s the typical tramite: you go into the office and stand in line to get some forms. Then you take the forms to the Banco de La Nacion and stand in line to pay a fee. You make some copies of various documents, get the copies notarized, return to the immigration office to turn the whole thing in and listo, visa is extended.
Last year I had a problem when I renewed my Peruvian visa. When you enter or leave the country your movements are supposed to be recorded in a database, but when I enter (or leave) through Trujillo or Piura airports on my ferry flights, the entry is often not recorded. I pass immigrations and customs, get a stamp in my passport, but for some reason the entry is never made into the database. When I renewed my visa last year my “movements” didn’t add up, for example, I had 2 entries for “leaving the country” without one for “entering the country” in between. I spent about 6 weeks, a bunch of time, tramites, photocopies, notary fees, trips to the immigration office, and then it was supposedly resolved.
When I went to renew my visa this year I did my tramite in about 2 hours, got my new sticker on the back of my carnet extranjeria and was home free. Or so I thought. A half hour after I left the immigration office I got a phone call that there was a problem and I needed to return to the office. I went back and the officials there told me my “movements” didn’t add up again. They showed me the list of movements and even the ones that were supposed to have been corrected last year were missing again, as were some from my more recent trips.
The friendly lady at the immigration office in Cuzco told me to go make certified copies of my passport, all the pages with the stamps that show me entering or leaving Peru, get them all notarized, write a letter to request that my “movements” be fixed and pay a fee to fill out some forms.
I didn’t loose my cool at first. I kindly told the lady I simply wouldn’t do it. I said I had spent a lot of time and money doing the same thing last year for nothing (the problem still existed even with my movements from last year). It was not my problem, I pass through immigration and customs on all my trips. It’s simply a system issue with international flights through airports other than Lima (both Piura and Trujillo are airports of entry, meaning they accept international flights).
The bureaucrat lady and I go through the same conversation about 3 times. She tells me to do a bunch of stuff and I kindly tell her I won’t. After about 3 or 4 times beating a dead horse I finally loose my cool and raise my voice.
“Look lady, I ain’t doing nothing. It’s your problem, you fix it!!!!!!!!”
This never works. You just shoot yourself in the foot. So I was completely dumbfounded when another bureaucrat at the next desk stood up and agreed with me. He walked over to the first bureaucrat lady and said something like, if my entries/exits were not through Lima that all they had to do was send an email to the airports (ie. Piura or Trujillo) to confirm the movement or have them put it in the system or something of this nature. I didn’t follow the exact details of the conversation between the 2 officials but they quickly decided I didn’t have to do anything else, all was fixed, they would take care of it.
I was happy and at the same time I couldn’t believe it, I had actually won an argument with a Peruvian bureaucrat 🙂
The best love song ever and it reminds me of my days at ICPNA Cusco when I used to torture my English (ESL) students with Led Zeppelin tunes – fill in the missing words in the lyrics.
I love you and I miss you on my birthday mamacita linda… And don’t even say it, I know soon I’ll be as old as them guys but you know what, getting old sure beats the alternative 🙂
Just by way of context for my readers, I’ve been away on a work trip for 3 weeks now, spending my birthday in a hotel room in Iqaluit. But I will be home soon.
Note to director Amparo: in case you’re reading this, I never played loud Led Zeppelin music in class 🙂
From Alan Cockrell’s Decision Height blog. Nothing remotely related to Peru, just the most important piece of writing you can possibly read this weekend.
It ends like this:
Go read the entire post here.
In my previous post I said I’ve only heard once of a person getting robbed in a taxi in Cuzco but then I remembered another incident. This one I know to be true because it involved my mamacita linda. It’s one of these things where you think “How on earth could this happen” but at the same time “I can see how it could happen to me.”
To understand the “I could see how it could happen to me” part, you have to keep in mind that Peru is the counterfeit money capital of the world (heads up via IKN). You commonly see fake money in Peru, mostly bills but also coins. It’s hard to imagine how making fake coins is worth the effort, but apparently to some in Peru it is. Any time a Peruvian accepts cash from another person, be it at a store, in a taxi, where ever, the person who accepts the cash always does at least a cursory inspection of the money. I’ve personally seen store clerks refuse counterfeit cash on a few occasions.
Counterfeit money switcheroo scam:
A few weeks ago mamacita linda took a taxi to work. In the center of Cuzco, taxis are S/.3 (~$1) about everywhere you go. If you want to go to some areas on the outskirts of the city like Larapa or San Sebastian the fare may be 5 to 8 Soles. On this fateful day the taxi driver asked mamacita linda for his fare a bit before they arrived at her work. Normally you pay as you get out of the taxi. Mamacita linda gave the driver S/.3 but he gave her back one of the coins (S/.2) saying it was a fake coin. Mamacita linda gave him another coin. The driver said that one was fake as well. Mamacita linda said she had no other coins and gave the driver a 20 Soles bill. The driver gave her back change for 10 Soles. Mamacita linda said “I gave you 20 Soles.” But the driver replied she only gave him 10.
All this is happening as the taxi is arriving in front of mamacita linda’s work – on a very busy street with no room for the cars to pass. Mamacita linda is upset but doesn’t want the hassle so she gets out and the taxi disappears in busy city traffic.
I’m not sure if my account of the story is exact to every detail. All in all mamacita linda estimated losing about 15 Soles to the unscrupulous taxi driver. He gave her change for S/.10 instead of S/.20 and probably held on to some of the coins that mamacita linda had originally given him as well.
You can easily think “How is that possible” but you have to keep in mind people in Cuzco take taxis practically on a daily basis. You have work and family and what not on your mind, you don’t exactly keep your guard up every time you hand a taxi driver his fare. Fake coins are common but the driver just used that as a distraction, while mamacita linda was trying to figure out her not-fake coins, the driver scammed her out of her change.
Mamacita linda was mad for the rest of the afternoon but we believe people get what they deserve in the end.
Con mi mamacita linda!
I hardly ever call for a taxi in Cuzco. Peruvian city streets are flooded with taxis and you can simply wave your hand to hail a cab most anytime anywhere. Occasionally you want to call a cab, maybe you’re in a really quiet residential area where there are few taxis, or perhaps it’s late at night. The taxis you call from a central dispatch are supposed to be legal and safe, not some guy with a car moonlighting. Calling a cab from a central dispatch is considered safer than hailing a cab in the street but only once I’ve heard of a girl getting robbed in a taxi in Cuzco – and I’m not quite sure what to believe of her story.
The other day I had to be at the airport early for a flight to Lima and I decided to call a taxi to our apartment. I figured it would be quicker than to go out in the street and hail a cab at that early hour. The dispatcher told me my taxi would arrive in 6 minutes, which was about right. I hopped in and we were on the way to the airport.
While riding in the back of the cab I could listen to the dispatcher call her drivers over the radio. It was quite entertaining. The dispatcher would talk sweet and funny as long as she was getting her way with the drivers but change in an instant to a condenscending angry tone when she didn’t get her way. She complained to 2 drivers that they took too long to get where they were going, she fussed at another for going to the wrong apartment building and at one point she yelled at driver “If you don’t want to work then don’t come to work!” I think she’s good at her job but probably doesn’t have a boyfriend.
We got closer to the airport and as we were about to turn into the airport parking my driver reached up and pealed the “TAXI” sticker off from his windshield. From our house to the airport taxis are about S/.5 (~$2) but calling one to the house is a few Soles extra. The driver said 8 Soles, which is about right. I gave him 10 Soles (you’re not expected to tip taxi drivers in Cuzco). The driver fumbled around his center console and said “No change”. He was pretending not to have any change. It worked, I said thanks and got out. I didn’t want to bother and I figured S/.2 extra was a pittance for this poor driver having to listen to mean dispatcher girl all night long 🙂
I called to get a licensed taxi but instead I got overcharged and the guy was moonlighting. Oh well. Then I checked in for my flight to Lima… Yippie, center seat! That’s okay, for my next flight I’ll have the left front seat.
I miss my baby goose while I'm away on a trip to deliver airplanes.
One reason I wrote this post yesterday was to set the stage for my “fat bitch ate all the donuts” story. Specifically the point about Cusquenian kids (or young people) having a more favorable opinion of American style fast-food places than people in the US or Europe. In the past few years a McDonalds, KFC and Starbucks have opened at the Plaza de Armas in Cuzco and young Cusquenians tend to like them and regard them highly, both as places to eat and as places to work.
Fair enough, I understand their sentiment. It’s something new, something worldly, not something they’ve grown up with on every street corner. And because the employees there are proud of their jobs, the service is actually quite good.
2 days in Lima
About 30% of all Peruvians live in the Lima metro area. One of the disadvantages about living in the “provinces” is that there are a number of things you just can’t do anywhere in Peru other than Lima. Embassies, corporate offices, international flights, etc. Often you have no choice but to go to Lima for things of that nature. This week I had to have a document notarized at the US Embassy, so I hopped on a flight to Lima and back. Counting airfare, hotels, taxi, embassy fees, etc, I spent around $400 to have a piece of paper notarized 😦
My Dunkin Donuts story
Next time you get on a flight from Lima to Cuzco take a look at the Peruvians around you. Chances are that you’ll see at least one or two who are carrying a box of Dunkin Donuts. The reason is simple: there’s a Dunkin Donuts at the food court at the Lima airport but none in Cuzco. Many Cusquenians will take a box of Dunkin Donuts home for the family. Again, just because it’s something worldly, something American, something we don’t have in Cuzco.
I’m terrible at buying souvenirs but I like to bring home at least something from every trip I go on. Mamacita linda likes it when I bring home a box of Dunkin Donuts. She munches on a few, takes some for her friends at work and gives the rest to her family. Tourists sometimes look at me quizzically when they see a tall gringo get on a flight to Cuzco carrying a box of donuts but I don’t care. Anything for my mamacita linda 🙂
On this trip mamacita linda asked me specifically to bring back a box of Dunkin Donuts. I managed to go through security, on my plane, fly to Cuzco, take a taxi home all without opening the box and stealing a donut for myself. I was a good papi! I arrived home just before lunchtime, happy as can be. Mamacita linda came home shortly thereafter and was happy to see her fresh yummie Dunkin Donuts that papi brought from the big city! Mami grabbed a yummie donut and munched it right down.
Famous last words
Because of mamacita’s crazy work schedule we typically eat lunch at her mom’s house. Since she doesn’t have much time, mamacita went to her mom’s house and I went to pick up our daughter at her kindergarten. Just before she walked out, mamacita grabbed another donut to eat while she walked 2 blocks to her mom’s house.
Like a big dummy I asked: “Are you sure you want to eat another one of those before eating lunch?”.
Mamacita offered me a bite of her donut and went on to her mom’s house. I walked 2 blocks the opposite way to pick up our Brianna Nayaraq from her “jardin”.
Fat bitch ate all the donuts
After picking up Brianna from her “jardin” and before going to my mother-in-law’s house, Brianna always wants to stop at our house first. She likes to drop off her backpack and get a piece of chocolate. I opened the door to our house and Brianna strolled into the kitchen to look for a piece of chocolate.
“Papi, Manchita threw the garbage on the floor.”
“What???”
I usually put the garbage out of reach of the dogs when I leave the house. They are normally not bad but at the same time they’re not well-behaved either. I never had the time (or skill) to train the dogs properly when they were young. On this fateful day I had left Roxi – the older, smarter, Jack Russell looking mutt – outside in the yard and Manchita – the fat dumb Blue Pitbull – had stayed inside.
I ran into the kitchen and to my horror I found on the floor an empty Dunkin Donuts box and plastic bag. Manchita, my fat bitch, tried to look innocent like “A bunch of intruders broke into the house, I tried to fight them off but they were to many” but a speck of white powdered sugar on her nose gave her away. The fat bitch had reached up on the table, tugged at the plastic bag and once it fell on the floor she helped herself to every last donut in the box!!!
I was mad as ever. I had toted a box of Donuts for 300 miles only to have mamacita eat 2 and the dog eat 10. To put that in perspective, my fat dog weighs around 50 lbs (~25 kg). At my body weight I would have to eat 40+ donuts to equal her! In a pound-for-pound eating contest not even Sonya the Black Widow could beat my fat bitch!
Chart of the day:
Chart of the day: amount of donuts consumed by my fat dog vs everyone else.
My fat bitches:
Manchita: my fat Blue Pitbull bitch
Roxi and Manchita.
I found this supposedly official record of donut eating. Keep in mind my fat bitch stopped eating because she was out of donuts, not because she didn’t want any more 🙂
Life in Peru 