Which of the following is a candidate for president in the 2016 Peru presidential elections:

a) A drunk.
b) A cheat.
c) A guy allegedly tied to the murder of a journalist.
d) A dude who insults supporters and whose body guards beat up hecklers.
e) All of the above.

Winners and losers of the 2016 Peru presidential elections so far:

WINNER: Keiko Fujimori, because she’ll be the next Prez of Peru and has managed to present herself as a rather reasonable person and candidate in the midst of this entire farce that passes for democratic elections.

WINNER: Julio Guzman, a guy nobody knew a few months ago and became a leading candidate before getting banned by the electoral body (for now). No matter what happens in this election cycle he looks likely to be an influential politico going forward.

LOSER: Everybody who hoped there would be substantive change for the better any time soon.

LOSER: Whoever got paid to write Cesar Acuña’s thesis back in the day because you know that dude’s in deep doo-doo now that everybody knows he or she copied/pasted the whole thing.