To be a fly on Mrs. PPK’s cellphone

In a stunning electoral comeback it’s now virtually assured that Pedro Pablo Kuczynski Godard or “PPK” will be the next President of Peru.

We already knew the next “first spouse” of Peru would be an American, since both PPK and his opponent Keiko Fujimori are married to US citizens. I know the US well and I can just imagine some of the conversations Mrs. PPK must be having with old friends:

Friend 1: “You’re gonna be a First Lady!!! Is that true? How exciting!!!!”
Mrs. PPK: “Isn’t it great?! I’m so proud of Pedro! OXOXOXO”

Friend 2: “Now, is Peru like a real country?”
Friend 2: “Where is Peru at? Is it like by Belize? ‘caus I went there on a cruise last year.”
Mrs. PPK: ………

Friend 1: “Is Peruvian hard to learn? Is that what they speak there?”
Mrs. PPK: ………
Friend 1: “Oh, so Spanish and, how do you say the other, Quechua?”
Friend 1: “Is the food a lot like Mexican food then? I just love the enchiladas from that little Mexican place downtown.”
Mrs. PPK: ………

Friend 3: “So are you gonna live in their Whi…”
Friend 3: “Wait? Do they have their own White House? Is it white like ours?”
Mrs. PPK: ………

Friend 2: “Do they celebrate the 4th of July in Peru?”
Mrs. PPK: ………
Friend 2: “OK, so the 4th of July is on the 28th of July in Peru?”

Friend 3: “Do I need a passport to come and visit you guys?”
Friend 3: “A Peruvian passport or my American passport?”
Mrs. PPK: ………

Before my American friends get all offended, I like how main street America is very unpretentious, not like Europe for example. I’ve known quite a few Americans who’d never left their home state and had no problem telling you that. They’ll ask simple questions because they don’t know the rest of the world but when they meet a foreigner they are curious, they want to learn. On the other hand many Europeans think they’re so worldly because they’ve stayed at a few 4-star resorts around the world. Knowing what you don’t know isn’t ignorance, when you think you know more than you really do, that’s ignorance.

Having said that, when you live in the US you do live in a very USA-centric world and talking to an American about other parts of the world can be pretty comical.

Come on Mrs. PPK, if you have a sense of humor please share some screenshots. Pretty please!