• The T-shirt I brought mami from Iceland 2 years ago? Worn once I think.
• Necklace and earrings I bought in Cartagena? Never used.
• The Big Ben souvenir mamacita asked me to bring from London? Stuffed in a file cabinet.
• The cute pillow from Poland? Never used and haven’t seen it in forever.
• The cute polar-bear hairclip I picked out at the souvenir store in Kuujjuaq, Nunavik? Mami looked at it once and said: “Cute, but you go to Canada and bring me back something made in the Philippenes??” Never been used.

I could go on. Clothes are always a bad idea. I buy something stylish and sexy and mamacita says “I can’t wear that here. It’s too cold in Cuzco to wear that.” I buy something comfy and mamacita says “Why do you buy me old lady clothes like that? Buy me something cute next time would you.”

Anyway, I’m writing this sitting in departure gate 19 of the Lima airport, waiting on a flight to Miami. I’m on my way to Kansas to pick up another new airplane from Cessna. The real reason I’m fussing and ranting about souvenirs right now is that souvenirs take up space in the airport where something useful could be, say something like FOOD!!! Airport food is never a great idea but in Lima the choices are really slim. For all the great food you can find in Peru the Lima airport is not a good place to go when you’re in a rush and haven’t eaten.

At the Lima airport there’s a food court with a McDonalds, Papa Johns and a few others. You can get a pretty good “pollo la brasa” at Manos Morenos but they give you like 6 french fries. There’s a Dunkin Donuts at the food court in the Lima airport and you can always tell the Cusquenos traveling home to Cuzco because you’ll see them carrying a dozen donuts through the Lima airport (there’s no Dunkin Donuts in Cuzco). I always feel like such a fool when other gringos in the airport stare at me walking through the airport with my Dunkin Donuts bag. They’re probably thinking something like “why would this fool come all the way down to Lima to buy a dozen donuts?”

At any rate, other than the food court there are few restaurants in the Lima airport. There are 2 restaurants in the international gate area, both ridiculously overpriced. Cheap Dutchman that I am I’ve never eaten at either of them. I just ponied up S/.26 (~$10) for a soda and sandwich at the 365 Deli by gate 19. Ten bucks for a sandwich that had like 2 slices of roast beef on it!

Peruvian food is great but forget Lima airport. The first thing I plan to do when I get to Wichita tomorrow is stuff my tummy with a big juicy steak

With one click of your mouse (I know I’m old fashioned, no need to go there) you too can have happy, catchy lyrics you don’t understand (unless you speak Portugese) in your head for the rest of the day!

Another version:

Here are the “Ai Se Eu Te Pego!” lyrics in Portugese and English.

What songs are popular in your part of the world right now?

When making papi’s famous chicken and french fries – Peruvian style of course – which ingredient is most likely found underneath the living room couch?

While you ponder on that let me tell you I like my food simple. I’ve had a chance to eat fine cuisine at some of the best restaurants in different places around the world and I do enjoy that occasionally, but for the most part simple is better in my humble kitchen. One of the things I don’t like about Europe is that many Europeans seem to try and do fancy food all the time. You get a really pretty-looking plate with some unidentifiable food that leaves you $50 poorer but still hungry. Not me, I’ll take a simple plate of good food over fancy fish eggs any day.

When I was a kid we rarely ate out but I remember during one summer vacation eating at a restaurant with my parents and grandparents in La Jonquera, Spain. While we were enjoying simple yet delicious steak and french fries my grandfather told us this very Belgian story:

I was only 7 or so at the time and thought that was the funniest story ever.

At any rate, have you figured out my Peruvian food brainteaser? If not I’ll give you a hint: it’s the same ingredient you would look for under the couch when cooking pretty much any Peruvian food. Here are the ingredients for my world-famous Peruvian-style chicken and french fries:

• Chicken.
• Potatoes.
• Spices: salt, pepper and cumin al gusto.
• Last but not least: look under the living room couch for Peruvian lemons! Soak chicken liberally in Peruvian lemon juice.

Papi's world famous chicken and french fries

OK, maybe in your house the Peruvian lemons aren’t under the couch but properly stored in the kitchen somewhere. In our house nothing has been properly stored since Pitufiloquita has gotten big enough to reach practically anything, even if she needs to drag a chair around to reach what she wants to get at. She likes to take our Peruvian lemons to her little play-kitchen and inevitably all my Peruvian lemons end up on the ground and under the living room couch.

That was easy, no? As soon as I said Peruvian food you knew there would be Peruvian lemons involved somewhere. Practically all Peruvian food gets lemon juice: salads, meat, fish, etc. Of course lemon juice is a main ingredient in both the best known Peruvian food (ceviche) and best known Peruvian drink (Pisco Sour), but you find Peruvian lemon juice in practically any Peruvian food. There is even a supposed Peruvian hangover cure based on the lemon juice.

I guess I should clarify the thing I’m calling “Peruvian lemon” here is closest to a “lime” or “Key lime” in US stores, it’s the little green one, not the really sour yellow one.

Also as a little disclaimer, I’m by no means a Peruvian food expert. In my kitchen everything is al gusto and nothing is ever cooked the exact same way twice. Every day is a new adventure. If you’re looking for a blog that is really good about Peruvian food, check out Kelly.

So if you’re entertaining or just in the holiday spirit and want to impress your friends with your Peruvian food expertise, just add Peruvian lemon juice to whatever it is you wanted to do in the first place

Pitufiloquita enjoying chicken and french fries - Peruvian style!

Mamacita linda having papi's world famous chicken and french fries

Playing cards with my grandparents on vacation in Spain, many moons ago.

Vacation in Spain

“Minister Vande Lanotte requests investigation into higher beer prices.”

Belgian minister of economics requests investigation into higher beer prices. Salud!

Johan Vande Lanotte is Belgium’s new minister of economics and I actually had him pegged as one of the more reasonable politicians in Belgium.

Here in Peru, most Peruvians have a fairly low opinion and approval rating of their politicians. What’s interesting to me though is that during any conversation I have about politics with a Peruvian (for the most part I stay away from the subject) most Peruvians somehow think politicians in those far away Northern countries are really the proverbial cat’s meow.

I love Europe but the leaders there live in such a fantasy world.

Happy holidays to all!

UPDATE:

Another one of my favorite Christmas songs: Joan Jett’s live punk-rock style rendition of Little Drummer Boy. Goes to show girls don’t just do soft and mushy.

Cuzco during rain season.

Now mind you, not everybody is blowing at the sky during rain season in Cuzco, only those people whose birthdays fall during the DRY months of the year. That’s right, there’s a belief or superstition here in Peru that people whose birthdays fall during the dry months can make the rains go away by blowing at the sky!

Occasionally while walking down a street during rain season, when clouds are building or rain starts to fall, you’ll see somebody blowing at the sky. Brianna and I do it all the time when we’re playing in the park and rain starts to fall, it really helps to hold off the rain for a while

Rain season in Cuzco begins towards the end of November and lasts through the beginning of April. It’s not bad really, no tropical downpours, just a steady diet of clouds and rain. But the rain helps rejuvenate the lands and green areas look good again. Meanwhile in the coastal areas of Peru summer is just beginning, so many Cusqueños take a trip to the coast for the traditional summer vacation. It’s something to get used to for gringos coming down from the Northern Hemisphere, when you visit Lima in December everybody is getting ready for Christmas and summer vacation at the same time.

After the official graduation ceremony at UNSAAC, Peru's newest economist!!!

And another thing, lentils? You take the day off and that’s the best you can think of

All kidding aside, I’m very proud of my mamacita, this past Friday she walked in the official graduation ceremony at the Facultad de Economia at UNSAAC, the major university here in Cuzco. Studying economics at the Universidad Nacional San Antionio Abad de Cuzco (UNSAAC) is very intense and academic, and she did great. Mamacita finished her studies nearly 3 years ago but with baby and thesis her graduation was put on the back burner so to speak.

Felicitaciones Mamacita linda!!!

Here it is, ready? The password for the WIFI at the Hotel El Gran Marques in Trujillo is “moche”.

I know this because I stayed at the Gran Marques on my last overnight stop during a trip from the US to Peru last week. I don’t know if the friendly people at the Gran Marques intended for me to publish their little secret but then again I can’t really see a lot of this blog’s readers heading to the parking lot of the Gran Marques just to take advantage of free WIFI.

There is a point to the story – and the point is that they chose “moche”. Not “Inca-this” or “Inca-that”, “Machu Picchu” or “Wayna Picchu”, but “moche”. The people at the Gran Marques are proud of their Moche heritage and for that reason alone I will stay at the Gran Marques again on my next trip!

Moche was a pre-Inca culture in Northern Peru and today the people in Northern Peru remain proud of their Moche ancestors. Today the Moche culture is perhaps best known for their elaborate paintings such as this one at the Huacas del Sol y de la Luna.

Moche painting in Northern Peru

Trouble is, unless you’ve had a chance to spend a good bit of time in Peru outside of the typical tourist circuit you may have never heard of Moche or any of the other the great cultural diversity that exists in Peru.

Take a look at this screenshot, I typed “Peru” in Google and searched for images only:

Screenshot of Google image search for Peru

You can only see part of the results in the picture above but try it for yourself, type “Peru” in Google’s image search and see what you get. Other than a few pictures of maps and flags, my search results returned:

• 1 picture of a blond girl at Lake Titicaca,
• 1 picture of the beach near Miraflores,
• 8 pictures of Machu Picchu, and,
• Nothing else!

Now Machu Picchu is a fabulous place to visit and the touch-stone location for Peru or maybe all of Latin America, but I regularly hear the same sentiment from Peruvians and expats here alike that the image of Peru – and what little bit the typical tourist visits – is incredibly one-dimensional and not at all representative of the diversity that exists in Peru.

There is so much more to Peru than just Pizza Street in Miraflores, the Inca Trail and Machu Picchu. Unfortunately you have to sort of seek out the path less traveled to get to know the rest of Peru.

Traditionally Peru has been said to consist of 3 regions: the coast, the Andes mountains and the jungle, but even that is too simplistic. Lima as a modern-day metropolis is a distinct area, the North of Peru has its Moche heritage, there is an Afro-Peruvian culture, Asian influence, and regions like Arequipa and Puno have a very distinct feel to them unlike the rest of Peru.

If you have a chance to visit Peru and want to see what the country is like away from the typical tourist circuit, sneak away from your tour group and just hop on any bus – don’t even ask where it’s going. There are many great things to be discovered!

Some pictures of the North of Peru:

Trujillo Cathedral

Algarrobina, a drink more typical of the North of Peru

Moche paintings

Huanchaco, Peru

A picture I took on takeoff from Trujillo, the beach town/resort of Huanchaco

Two weeks ago when I arrived at the airport for my flight from Cuzco (CUZ) to Lima (LIM) the airline agent told me my flight had been cancelled due to “operational issues”. No problem, the airline put me on another flight about an hour or so later. I checked in and went to my gate.

My gate was in the downstairs area of the airport, I believe it was gate 10 or 11 at Cuzco’s AEROPUERTO INTERNACIONAL “TNTE. ALEJANDRO VELASCO ASTETE”. At the Cuzco airport you will generally go upstairs to the gate area but because the airport is quite busy nowadays there are some flights that leave from a downstairs gate area as well. The downstairs gates are normally reserved for international departures but occasionally handle domestic flights.

The gate area started to fill up with passengers when a barely audible announcement was made about a gate change. The downstairs gates are really spartan and don’t have a PA system, the airline agents have to use a portable PA system at each boarding door. Nobody who was more than 30 feet away from the desk could hear which flight was moved so everybody got up and swarmed the airline desk to ask about the gate change. Turns out it wasn’t my flight but the next one after that.

By now it was time for my flight to start boarding and the airline agents tried to get the passengers who had swarmed the desk to form a line and start boarding in a reasonably orderly fashion. Everybody lined up about 3 wide but the agents kept trying to reduce the line to a single file. I thought they were exaggerating and some arguments broke out between the agents and passengers. One of the airline agents raised his voice in a childish condescending kind of way and I told him I wouldn’t have anything of it.

The passengers eventually boarded but by now many were not in a great mood, between the earlier flight cancellation and the back-and-forth at the boarding gate everybody was just relieved to finally be on their way.

I was seated right over the wing. As the plane took off one of the main wheel tires was shaking badly. I remember thinking I hope the crew writes that up when they get to Lima (for the tires to be balanced by maintenance).

I sat back and relaxed. Am I imagining things? No, surely the left engine isn’t shaking now is it? Good grief… These modern airliners never break, they are extremely reliable. I used to work at GE and I can say without hesitation jet engine reliability is just phenomenal. The airplane I was in on that day doesn’t have GE engines (it has IAE V2500s), but the engines are all excellent.

So why the heck is this engine shaking so badly???

I tried to relax, surely it had to be my imagination. I closed my eyes for a few moments. The flight attendants started to serve snacks. Yippie!!! My lucky day, the flight attendants were starting out only 2 rows in front of me, chocolate, crackers and a cup of hot strong Peruvian coffee were only mere seconds away now.

Ding Ding.

The lead flight attendant up front rang the intercom and called all the flight attendants back to their stations. No snacks for the moment. The lead flight attendant said something about turbulence and remain seated. I closed my eyes again. The engines are revving up and down a lot. I figured it had to be because the crew was navigating through some convective weather – in early November rainseason has already started over the Andes mountains.

We’re about 15 minutes into the 1-hour flight now and the Captain comes on the intercom.

“Sorry folks, there’s a mechanical issue with the airplane, we’re turning back to Cuzco.”

Now I’m worried. Not because there’s a mechanical issue, those things happen and there are lots of backup systems, but because he’s turning back to Cuzco. I’m not second-guessing the crew but in most cases if you’re 15 minutes out of Cuzco and 45 minutes out of Lima, you would elect to continue to Lima or Pisco because those are much better airports than Cuzco. Cuzco is one of the more challenging airports to land at due to the elevation and surrounding terrain. In fact, this particular airline has a policy that only Captains are allowed to land in Cuzco. Copilots are not allowed to be the “flying pilot” (the one handling the controls) in Cuzco.

So why is he turning back to Cuzco? Either the problem is a nuisance warning that they can’t figure out but has no bearing on the performance of the airplane, or… it’s something really bad and they have to get back on the ground right away.

We land back in Cuzco uneventfully and the crew parks the airplane in a corner of the airport. As the passengers deplane I looked in the cockpit and overheard the Captain pointing out some issue with the flight instruments to the maintenance crew. Now the return to Cuzco made more sense: Lima and Pisco are far better airports than Cuzco but the coastal weather typically has haze or low clouds, so if you had a problem with flight instruments those airports would probably not be your first choice – you would elect to go to an airport where you have unrestricted visibility like Cuzco on that particular day. On the other hand if you had a problem with an engine, flight controls, brakes or something of that nature, you would probably chose Lima or Pisco where the airplane has much better performance and the approaches are much easier.

While the Captain was pointing out the mechanical problem to the maintenance crew the First Officer (copilot) had stepped out to greet the passengers as they deplaned. He was a young kid of maybe 23 or 24 and looked badly shaken, whiter than white. Airlines down here like to hire young, inexperienced kids because they are more likely to drink the company Kool-Aid. I imagine it was probably the first time ever this copilot had to divert from his normal route of flight. (Read about my most recent diversion here). The Captain looked and sounded confident during the entire ordeal, as he should.

When we got back in the terminal a lot of passengers were now really upset but the airline got everybody on the next 2 or 3 flights reasonably quickly. I ended up arriving in Lima about 6 hours late, but sometimes airplanes will do that to you.

So what was Peruvian about this entire ordeal?

When we filed back into the terminal the same airline agent who had yelled at people before came trudging in, carrying his trusty portable PA system. I was standing by a building column near the desk and the agent plugged his PA system into an electrical outlet in front of me. Only, he didn’t plug it in. His portable PA didn’t have an electrical power plug, it was just 2 bare electrical wires that the young man was expected to wind tightly and stick into the power outlet. I looked at the guy and said, “dude, you’ve got to ask your boss to put a plug on there for you.” Peru uses 220V which is more than enough to hurt a person. I’ve heard stories (not sure if they’re true or not) of people getting killed by 220V electricity and this poor guy was expected to stick bare wires into an electrical outlet probably 8 or 10 times per day, for every time he moves to another flight or gate!

I was one of the last passengers on the last flight to Lima that day and just before I got on the airplane the same airline agent came trudging by again, finally on his way out for the day. He shook my hand and said he was sorry about the ordeal but I said not to worry, stuff happens.

“But please ask your boss to put a plug on that PA system.”

The Cuzco airport terminal

Cuzco airport photo courtesy of Corpac.